


Mary Mor(st)an

by NovaNara



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Mary is Moran, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-19
Updated: 2014-03-19
Packaged: 2018-01-16 07:50:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1337749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaNara/pseuds/NovaNara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Watson isn't the first man Mary has fallen for. Not that she can talk to him about her ex...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mary Mor(st)an

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: nothing mine, of course. BBC and Conan Doyle share the rights. I claim the faults.

She really loves John. Not quite like she loved James though. But then again, no one was quite like James – with maybe one exception. She isn't swept off her feet in a whirlwind of awe, adrenaline and sheer disbelief anymore. But after such an intense and frankly, destructive relationship, John is exactly what she needs.

 

The good doctor. Her army doctor who is brave enough to be proud of his emotions. And she, the kind nurse who – finally – doesn't doubt him, pity him, or ask him to stop pining after a dead man. And most people are silly enough to believe the printed papers that call the man’s death a suicide. The suicide of a finally-exposed, weak-minded, psychotic fraud.

 

She doesn't try to steal Sherlock's place in his heart, which is exactly why they can move on together. She knows that Sherlock is the real deal better than most after all, though she can't let it slip if she wants to keep John. She has every intention to do so. She heard James – Jim – rant enough about Sherly dear. She has been jealous of him so long. She would have known how to make the most out of being the consultant criminal's obsession.

 

And so John, 'the psycho's victim' – when he's not deemed an accomplice – in the public eye goes on openly grieving, slowly moving towards acceptance. An acceptance – for the loss of her own psychotic genius – that she'll never reach. She was the girlfriend of 'poor used Richard', and yet she keeps it all inside, permanently stuck in anger. Of course she's angry, no, furious because they (evil ones or not) were supposed to. Bloody. Win! And then Jim had to ruin it all by dying. By his own thrice-goddamned hand. For no conceivable reason. Or perhaps because, after the game ended, nothing was worth staying alive. _She_ wasn't worth staying alive for.

 

Of course she turned to John. She'd admired him since the pool. No one else in the world could possibly understand her. No one else was going through mad-genius withdrawal. So it's only natural that they hit it off right away. They were really one soul in two bodies, and that soul was breaking further and praying for an impossible miracle.

 

Later, when Sherlock came back from the dead (bastard!), she's struck almost physically by the unfairness of it all. She hates Sherlock as much as she honestly likes him. He's too much like  J im for her not to be entranced, even while she reprimands herself for it; but, he'll never be Him. 

 

And in some ways, everything that happened is all Sherlock’s fault. She's sure of it. If she sends 'mixed messages' about him it's only natural. To be expected, really.

 

Sherlock is blind to his own mixed messages (patently in love with John and strenuously defending their marriage? Really?) but she's not about to point that out. The strain could break John. Her actions (entirely warranted, if you ask her) very nearly do. Nearly, because the privilege of breaking John belongs to dear Sherlock, of course. Only him. It's selfish, maybe, but she's not about to renounce John. Finders keepers, right? 

 

She's bitter towards him, though. He’s 'the good doctor', yes. Surely a good man. But being simply good is too little, she's positive, to deserve a miracle. Why was only John awarded his  very own Lazarus? Her husband's happiness stings. She shouldn't complain, though. God is merciful and fair. And geniuses are a heartless bunch that will make you mad in the same breath that they make you fall in love with them all over again. So when she finally sees that  two- second clip , not screaming is all she can do to keep her secret. 

 

 _Did you miss me?_ God, yes. Of course, Jim, you absolute wanker.

 


End file.
